Guess who's back... back again

The year is 20xx. Everyone is a Yasuo main. 

Time to check in on this episode of Intervention:

I've just been faffing around as Morgana. I'm going to learn Irelia, but I've been afraid of doing it because I'm soooo used to mages. The most "tanky/close combat" thing I've ever played is Vi, and yeah. This means learning a new role: Top. But after I learn top, I can literally go anywhere, since my ADC choice is usually Jinx. I'm not really sure what role I permanently want. I feel like a high schooler being asked what job I want really early on.

I'M BACK: ALSO, EXTENSIVE VAYNE GUIDE

So guys... I am back! I mean, this is probably not a good time since it's nearing midterms, and I have a lot of research work left undone, but here I am!


Things that have changed in my life:

-I'm getting my own apartment (moving into it July 1st), and hopefully then I can write more on this blog.
-I have picked up Vi and Vayne.
-I'm trying to get better.
-No one believes in me.

How to play Vayne, the master APC.

1) What runes should I choose?

You should probably choose runes that give you a lot of AP. We're looking to do serious damage as an APC to destroy the other team.

2) How should I build my pages?

Archmage, and maybe build some utility things, like gold. Also, lots of defense! We're going to be one tanky APC.

3) Okay. Summoner spells?

You should choose meditation and smite. Make sure you try to get as much CS from the jungle as possible, not to clog up bottom lane.

4) Starting items?

When you first spawn, don't bother buying starting items, just rush mana potions. You're going to need this because you're going to try to condemn, a lot. This will be the only move you need.

5) First back?

Start building your rabadon's.

6) Situational Items

If you're being blown to smithereens, you need to build more AP. Go buy something like Luden's Echo.

If you're doing good, you need to build more AP. Go buy something like Luden's Echo.

7) Core build

Your core build should look a lot like Ahri's, except in place of a Zhonya's, you need sightstone. Make sure you ward near enemy territory so you can go in for a gank.

8) Skill order

Put everything into condemn. Then worry about rolling and whatever. Honestly, you never need to tumble, or whatever w does, or even use your ultimate. Just smite them to kill them. Remember: you're an APC with a lot of stuns.

9) Final build

Your final build should have whatever kind of boots you want with mercury's treads (we're tanky) and you should have 3 slots with a pink ward, a green ward, and sightstone, and your final two should be your AP items.

10) Congratulations you now know how to play Vayne.

Hiatus

Hi guys,

I guess you could say I took an extended holiday. You know, League to me is getting to be kind of weirdly boring. And you know it's partially due to lack of skill, but also due to the extremely rude and obnoxious people who play. What is are their problems? Like, is League their lives? Because, that's... well I mean it could be really sad, but I guess it could alternately be pretty sweet. But anyways, like most people I meet who are over the age of 15 and are male are suddenly insufferable douchebags. It's like as soon as their balls dropped, their brain dropped out of their asses. I seriously don't know why everyone is a sack of complaints.

In other news, I don't really know if its worth getting good at this game. I feel like everyone else has been playing forever, and I don't want to be judgmental but they are telling me that they got addicted and well... that's not a healthy lifestyle. Also, not to be judgmental, but I feel like missed the train with this one. I started really late in comparison to everyone else, and it just isn't the same. I consider myself a fast learner, but this is just one of those things I can't learn.

I also have a theory about gender (sounds weird I know). But male brains and female brains actually work differently. I'm going to get flak for this, but I'm not trying to say one gender is smarter than the other. I'm just trying to say that maybe since I've been playing with/against predominantly males, perhaps they strategize and attack each other differently because of these differences? I mean, they could even be learned. This is true: most people would say that gaming males now played games in their childhood, so maybe early exposure is helpful? I mean I have female friends who play games, but they're not usually shooters or combat games (I'm going to get punched over this one, but I'm just speaking from experience.)

Well I'll be back soon~

Day 22: Doublelift is the best recycler

Okay guys sorry about being away forever but I have a lot to talk about. Even outside of League, but most importantly... about League. Okay so school is finally over and I think I managed to pull all As (please Faker let it be true). Anyways, I've also started playing WoW with LoP Lazynoodles and CS:GO (I have a lot to say about this game).

So first things first, I need to tell you all that I STILL CAN'T USE ACTIVE ITEMS! God what is my life even. I feel like I'm worse at Nami than Ahri, and that's just weird. I used to be such a good support but... yeah. I'm laning against smurfs. ALL THE FUCKING TIME GOD PEOPLE STOP DOING THIS.

Guys, League has been renamed.

...Here is how far I've come. You know, I feel like I'm getting better slowly. Oh by the way

SEEKERS ARMGUARD SO HELPFUL WHY LOP LAZYNOODLES NO TEACH ME

maybe because he's a

LAZY DICK

nahhhhh but seriously that shit is so good against like kat and zed i mean that is like my new 1st back not really but i tried it once and it was beautiful

I'm squishy... at heart.

Day 21: Backstreet's back

Drew a picture of Leblanc

Yeah so shit got cray

Sorry for not posting in like a billion and five years guys D:

Day 20: Dem-ass-ia

Here's a little gift from Kitty Chanel to you, inspired by Meghan Trainor's "All about that bass"

I think I'm doing better.

^Playing with LoP. He's too good to be hanging out with me.

^I think I actually accomplished something.

^This is called being terrible at playing League (my fault).

^This game really wasn't my fault (no one had a clue).

^Some guy picked Kat at the last minute and said he was mid. I called mid too. And I was like I only see trouble ahead. Long story short, Ahri ended up top. Yes, that means NO CS for Ahri, or Malphite who laned with me. We got plenty of kills, but we had no money for items. And the worst part... Malphite kept running from fights : / Malphite please don't do this it makes my life harder.

This also goes to prove my theory: whenever I go positive, my team loses automatically.

Things I learned:

-Sometimes you have to run into the forest to back

-You don't have to be constantly hitting minions to get CS

-Don't always push lane

-Please hit charm, sometimes it's your only chance

-You can vary up combos. I tend to do charm, then orb of deception, then hit them manually, then fox fire, then I like to kill them with ignite. I mean this probably isn't how you're supposed to do it, but it's been working. 

-Sion is so easy to abuse.

-If Blitzcrank misses his chain in the bush, he's so fucked.

-DO NOT RUN IN BEHIND A TEAM FIGHT --> I just realized how bad this is in retrospect

-If the enemy is pushing all-in their most pushed-in lane, you are losing on a smaller level

-Don't be afraid to drink your health potions really early game because you need to get rid of them to eventually get other items... so yeah.

Things I want to know/understand:

-What to do up against long range enemies as Ahri

-What to do when you feel like your magic is not doing enough damage

-How to call MIA

Day 19: The Opponent Has Fallen In Love With Me

Days I do not play now do not count as days. 

The opponent has fallen in love with me

Guys the midterms are over! And my sanity is slowly being restored. I had to do an art history midterm and a sociology midterm.

Okay, well back to the show!

Anyways, I think it’s about that time of the year when I lecture myself on the importance of sleep.

Sleep is for pussies.

Just kidding. No really guys, get some rest. I swear if I play League during daylight hours, it’s like 2% of my friends are on. Come like… 11 PM going into 1 to 2 AM, EVERYONE IS ON AND DESPERATE TO PLAY. What the fuck guys. Get some sleep....

...just kidding! There’s no time for sleep. We have important things to do! Like playing league, checking reddit…

...yeah…

The sun’s totally not rising. That’s just a hologram.

Made of sunlight.

...shit.

Okay well anyways back to the important part. I feel like I’m getting better at League, but I’m still terribad. Like, so many people are infinitely better than me. But I did do pretty well for today’s game. I told my ADC I wanted to make out with him in the bushes, and I think it improved his performance.

Also when I fucked him in the jungle.

Too bad gnar was watching.

Oh, and Morgana got off to us.

Then we killed her.

I love my Nami x Lucian OTP.

Oh okay let me tell you quickly about some recent developments. So apparently LoP Lazynoodles’s favorite characters are Ahri, Syndra, and Diana. I don’t know what Diana looks like (honestly I think she’s going to look ugly) but I know I hate Syndra. I don’t know. It’s probably because to me she’s so full of herself. Who the hell always has to be surrounded by three floating black balls I mean come on that’s so thirsty of her. Just because she can’t get the black D (Lucian) doesn’t mean she has to…

...where am I going with this?

ANYWAYS

So back to headcanons

Ahri and Warring Kingdoms Xin Zhao are married. Ahri’s probably like 1 month pregnant, and Warring Kingdoms Xin Zhao likes it when she makes cupcakes, because that means she wants the D since she stands in the kitchen in nothing but her pink frilly apron that is hot.

I don’t like LoP Lazynoodles’s ships. He has terrible OTPs. Never listen to him about OTPs ever.

Friends!

So I’m now friends with this player Nyalaena (friend of Lazynoodles) who plays the best Zed ever.

Things I learned:

-You can’t feed half asians spam… they’ll die D:

-Sometimes, wards won’t help you survive. Sometimes, you just have to not feed.

-When you run away from something, don’t run towards enemy base or back to your base clear through the lane. You should try to tuck yourself back into the forest and go through there because at least you have a chance of living.

-I didn’t not know how badly my anus could be torn by Darius.

-Ignite is fabulous.

-Varus, Zed, and Syndra OT3

-Ahri, Akali, Soraka, Nidalee OT4 (but liek, platonic seks, k?)

-There is no such thing as the friendzone in League

-There is such a thing as the friendzone irl

-I don’t think Vladimir has killed me yet

-The free wards are so increda-shitty oh my god they last as long as a battery does in a wii mote that’s like not long at all liek trust me k

-If you think that somehow you will be able to run away as Nami by using your ult oh my god its a terrible idea. Unless you also bubbled and have flash. Like, you will die alone. No seriously.

-You can’t defend a turret 1v1 (eh) or 1v2 (def) as Nami because thats like wrapping your dick with tuna fillets and expecting not to get the clap mmkay

-Kill Zed early please

-Laning phase be less afraid to get last hits b/c at lvl they can’t do that much

Things I need to work on:

-How to gank

-How to ping

-How to be a leader/carrier when I’m in the lead

-How to get more CS

-How to not run out of mana in laning phase

-How to not die 1000000 times end game (my mid game is good, my end game is terrabad)