Day 5 & 6
So today I got minimal schoolwork done, and it’s going to eventually bite me in the ass. So I’m going to turn nocturnal so I can finish it in time. I’m going to limit myself to 5 games a day, so that’ll increase my productivity (although I can’t make any promises about osu).
Today I’m feeling very hormonal about life and things, well at least I think. I don’t think noodlesgaming notices though. Just kidding, he knows. Also my friend whitechocobear is so awesome! He has an alternate account, and he is super cool! He makes such a cute Rengar.
Which also reminds me that today I felt my self esteem plummet as I made the stupidest plays walking decisions ever. I wish that I could be as good as noodlesgaming one day. He is my hero.
So apparently he has this friend who has a stream account. She’s just starting out, and I’m really interested in seeing her play amazingly. I don’t know if I’ll really have the time or patience to get as good as all of my friends, but I’m really trying. (Note: Sorry guys, she mostly streams minecraft, but she does play League!)
LUCIAN & NAMI OTP
My Ahri x Xin Zhao Story: PART 1
Note: So I’ve been getting into League shippings recently. My last ship was between Nami and Lucian, and I know it’s not canon, but I don’t care. Forget Senna, Nami is so much better.
Once upon a time, Demacia was at war. It was really tragic and blah blah. You know, let’s just skip to the good part.
As the casualties increased, and each daunting crimson day passed like a dying moon, Ahri looked upon the battlefield from her soft green hilled crest, questioning the nature of humans. It was not their stupidity or her mortality which she judged or pitied; it was actually a feeling of jealousy that welled in her chest, seeping into her paws. Humans: they were capable of choosing their own fate, of making their own connections and revelations-- they were allowed to be born into a world they could change. Ahri never had that opportunity: she had lived in the forest--a good fox-- for thousands of years. All she could ever do was watch humans come and go, condemned to her green prison. All she wanted was to be part of that mortal, bloody, beautiful world.
One day, while walking amongst the dead soldiers, through the stench of rotting and burning human flesh, she found something interesting: a half-dead soldier. She knew she had the ability with the aid of her fox bead to mirror his form. He died shortly after, and Ahri contemplated her decision to try to become human. Why would an immortal creature dare to be mortal? Despite her efforts to become human, the only thing that changed was her outward appearance. Even so, she was doomed to have nine tails, and large dark scarred whiskers.
She knew there was practically no one alive. And she knew in her new form she would have to steal souls by seducing men to survive. In one particular heap of dismembered body parts and bloodied flags was a man with long, beautiful raven black hair.
Shocked at the image of her hands, she confusedly grabbed the dying man too hard, causing him to cry out. Quickly silencing him with her hand, she dragged him into the forest. The last thing he saw were nine tails, and he accepted his assumed fate.
Little did he know, he’d be waking up to a beautiful gumiho woman named Ahri.
“Are you all right?” she asked half-stunned, surprised by her own voice. She quickly summoned her fox bead to her human hands, and began the healing process.
“Yes, I am all right. Please return me to the walls of Demacia.”
“You are not well enough human. Please,” begged Ahri. His eyes widened with fright as he realized that she essentially was like a wild animal, her likeness resembling a fox.
Distrustful, but out of options, Xin Zhao conceded. He let the gumiho take care of him, mentally prepared for his soul to be devoured.
“You really don’t trust me, do you?” Ahri asked, trying not to laugh. She was trying to gain trust, but it’s hard to when you’re a sexy naked gumiho woman trying to heal a wounded soldier in the middle of a mossy forest. They were alone; only the trees could hear them.
Ahri ran her finger down the middle of his chest to open his shirt to check for any more bleeding. It seemed that he was going to be okay.
“Gumiho, do you have a name?” Xin Zhao questioned, leaning up against a tree.
“You can call me Ahri.”
“Okay Ahri. I guess a proper introduction is in order since you saved my life,” he replied, reflecting on his dependence on the Jarvan kings and his overall self-perceived ineptitude.
Ahri looked into his deep blue eyes and saw he was upset.
Finally, he spoke, “I am Xin Zhao.”
“Oh, the Seneschal of Demacia.”
It did not surprise Xin Zhao that she knew of him. He was famous. Everywhere he went, there were always hordes of people wanting to speak to him-- and to kill him. He was a hero, but he also was a murderer.
Ahri was walking around very funny. Xin Zhao had no idea what was going on.
“Ummm… are you having trouble walking?”
“Yeah.”
“Is something wrong?”
“How do I use legs?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
-insert Friends intro music here-
Xin Zhao, now recovering, decided to walk through the forest back to a Demacian base.
“It’s dangerous to go alone Xin Zhao, take me with you!” Ahri shouted, posing seductively.
“Get some clothes on already. Here take my shirt,” he said, tossing it to her.
“I don’t want your sweaty clothing human!” she whined.
“Well then stop rubbing your breasts against me when you’re following me around! You don’t have to stick that closely to me.”
“I just want to spend some time with humans.”
“Okay, okay. We’re meeting up with some of my friends. Well, my comrades-- Garen and DA KING.”
“Wow! That sounds really interesting. Where are we meeting them?”
“At a coffeeshop, called Starbucks.”
“What’s a coffeeshop?” inquired a half naked Ahri, in his ripped up shirt.
“It’s a place where you drink coffee-- a beverage made from steeped roasted beans. You talk to friends there.”
“That sounds pleasant. Humans use money to purchase things like that.”
“Yeah, and it costs an arm and a leg to get a good frap around these parts.”
“Frap?”
“Oh nevermind.”
--IN THE COFFEESHOP--
“Garen!” exclaimed Xin Zhao.
“Oh my god! Hi!” shouted Garen. He missed Xin Zhao so much, but he knew that he would come back alive.
“Where’s Jarvan?”
“Oh, he’s running a little late. He kind of broke his iPhone, so he’s with an Apple Genius right now.”
“That silly Jarvan.”
“Who is the half-naked lady with nine tails?”
“Oh, this is Ahri. She’s a gumiho. She saved my life.”
“Oh cool… so are you guys together?”
“What?!” exclaimed Ahri. She wouldn’t dare associate with a human in such a distasteful manner.
Xin Zhao felt awkward and decided to invite everyone out later for some noraebang. He loved singing, and so did Garen. Jarvan texted that he could make it, which was great because kings have busy schedules.
--AT THE KARAOKE BAR--
“...and seriously, it was the best night ever. I mean, there were so many hot girls!” laughed Jarvan.
Garen and Xin Zhao laughed too. Ahri was sulking in the corner because she didn’t know any modern human songs.
“Come on, don’t be a sourpuss,” poked Garen. She lit up a smile at him, and he encouraged her to shake a tambourine.
Xin Zhao was immediately jealous, and Jarvan warned him in private that Ahri was seducing him to charge her fox bead with his soul.
TO BE CONTINUED
THINGS I LEARNED:
-Ahri is all about distance plays. Why didn’t I realize this earlier?
-”Backing” means to recall, not run back to base.
-If you run away, your teammates will hate you. If you don’t run away, your teammates will hate you tell you to stop feeding the enemy.
-I still hate Ziggs and Fizz. Anything with a Z really.
-Guarding a turret is more successful if you don’t spam your “q” and waste all your mana.
-Good shots are taken at angles in relation to the enemy, and you should try to predict his/her path of motion.
-NEVER EVER let someone get in front of you if you are Ahri. If they dash in front of you, shit gets awkward.
-Put wards in grass, not in the middle of the lane.
-Pressing tab is really useful because you can see who’s dead, who’s what level etc. I actually only used this once today because after I learned about it, I immediately forgot it existed.
-If you think you’re alone in the forest, you are in for a bad surprise.
-When you recall, wait long enough for all your health and mana to get back up because otherwise its really a waste of a trip.
-Ziggs is pretty easy to dodge. So is Jinx’s purple line thing.
-Nothing says smurf like killing everyone in small five minute spans.
-Nothing says smurf like disconnecting and reconnecting in 20 second intervals yet still getting like the majority of kills and going from level 2 to level 15; also getting a triple kill in that 20 second interval. (Note: this has nothing to do with my jealousy for noodlesgaming, okay?)
-Some players are just rude. They always want to steal noodlesgaming from me.
-Poking with q is a good idea, but poking with e or w is not. Seriously. Really bad idea. Charming a minion only causes grief and stress. (Note: I kind of miss other games’ terms. Like in minecraft, griefing someone’s house.)
-If someone is a level ahead of you in your lane, you shouldn’t worry too much. If they’re like 2+ levels ahead, you need to rethink your strategy.
-Please put wards next to your lane. Because fucking Rengar Master Yi Kha’Zix EVERYONE WILL GO TO YOUR LANE AND KILL YOU.
-Don’t be afraid to stick around and fight if you are between 60% to 100% health. If you’re low on mana, the story is a little different. Find a nice quiet spot to recall (back).
-Safety in numbers! But more importantly, safety in numbers when you’re not outleveled by the other team.
-When you get to enemy base, still poke with q. If they’re at your base, WARDS EVERYWHERE PLZ DO THIS OKEI
-If your jungler dies over and over and over again, and can’t kill anything, you should consider buying a tissue box and crying
-If you’re in mid lane, and someone asks you for help in the forest, you better get your ass there and not play around with el miniones.
-BUT if everyone is in a distant 4 v 5 fight, or 1-2 people are missing/at their fountain and you are alone, yeah i guess you can push but YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE ITS ALL GOOD LIKE WARDS EVERYWHERE AND LIKE DONT GO TOO FAR CAUSE FOREST IS SCARE AND VERY FRIGHT SO SCARE SO SCARE
-I don’t get lost in the forest as much anymore.
-Annie is bullshit and is not scary.
-Akali is a beast.
Things I want to know/understand:
-If I recall and go back to the fountain with only ~600, do I want to buy Doran’s ring, or should wait it out for the chalice of harmony?
-Need to memorize my Ahri combos
-Need to understand how to avoid the jungler
-Need to know what to buy after Grail, Hat, DFG, Staff, and Boots
-Need to know how to hate on Ziggs
-Need to know how to properly back up teammates
-Need to know dafuq to do when you are guarding base and everyone is in the forest and you’re up against that stupid lvl 18 guy who is like lol ur inhibitor is spaghetti
-Need to know how to use flash (I always put my mouse where I’m standing lol)
-Need to know how to invite friends to a game
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